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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?